The Revelation

I've been thinking about my body lately, and I'm really starting to think that perhaps this is just the way God designed my body to look..

A little over 3 weeks into the program, and I'm not really feeling like my physique has changed the way I had hoped.  But again, that could just be me having unrealistic expectations of the program.

Insanity...if I were training to get ready for a sport, I'd be all set.  If I was preparing for a marathon or something, this would be perfect.  If I played a sport in college but got out of shape after graduation, again, a great program.  But if you're already consistently working out and lifting weights...

I'm being honest with you guys here:  I just don't see how people could make these dramatic transformations you see in the "before" and "after" pics, unless they did no exercise before the program.  If you're new to working out, naturally you're going to lose weight if you start moving and eating healthy.  No surprise there.  But I feel like if you're already accustomed to moving and being active, I feel like you're only going to improve your cardio with this program.  Granted, I still have another month to go, but I feel like that aspect isn't really going to change.  I honestly believe, and feel free to call me "old fashioned", that lifting weights is the only way to really see dramatic results in physique.  But I could be wrong...I hoping I'm wrong since I've already spent all this money on this thing.  I've looked at everything I was doing to see if maybe I was making some mistakes somewhere:  I've changed my diet (several times), eliminated Fat Friday, did the program everyday like I'm supposed to, drank plenty of water, get plenty of sleep, and still I feel like my body looks the same.  I told you guys my pants fit a little better, but other than that I don't see any dramatic changes.

As a result, I've reached the conclusion that maybe my body is just supposed to look like this.  Maybe I've maxed out courtesy of genetics, although the verdict is still out on whether or not that's possible.  I certainly don't come from a family of large people.  Both of my parents are runts both in terms of height and weight, and I'm actually weigh more than my father.

Come to think of it, I actually weigh the most in my immediate family.  I was so unprepared for that realization.

Maybe this is just the way God designed me to look.  I mean, I'm not trying to get all religious on you lovelies, but that's how I feel sometimes.  I'm starting to think the only way my body is going to look how I want it to look is to start taking supplements.  I could certainly do that, but supplements are expensive and ain't nobody with student loans got time for that.  It's rough enough dropping $50 for protein every few months.  When I was talking supplements before I saw changes in my body within the first month.  Granted, I had to stop taking one of them via doctor's orders.  But still.  At least they worked.  Aside from them, weights are the only thing I've been able to actually see changes with, hints my obsession with the it.

I think I'm just going to be happy with the way my body is.  After all, I'm not fat and it could certainly be worse.  I think as a brown woman I've been endowed with a certain, shall we say, "trademark characteristics of the physique", aka hips & booty.  I don't think there's anything that can be done naturally to change this.  And to be frank, who would want to?  With the exception of one or two binders groups of women (non of whom I'll name as to not offend), everyone wants hips.  Well, let me rephrase:  most men I have encountered prefer a woman with some shape.  I guess the only thing left to do if you've been endowed with this gift is to keep it right, keep it tight.  Make sure it doesn't get all flabby and whatnot.  There's a clear difference between fat and phat.  The latter is always better than the first, if nothing other than for health reasons.

But maybe I'm just being pessimistic.  I have a history of being quite the Negative Nancy when I want to be.  The next month of Insanity is supposed to be even harder than the first:  "max" everything...no idea what that means, but it sure sounds intense.  Anywhos, I'm going to keep on keepin' on with everything, diet included.  Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised one of these days.  I doubt it, but eh, I've got nothing to lose.  Insanity def isn't a replacement for the gym if you're into the old-fashioned means of weight loss.  The get-in-the-gym-and-LIFT-LIFT-LIFT-the-weight-off type.  But it'll do in a pinch.