Yesterday I had my first of two free personal training session that comes along with selling your soul getting a gym membership. I emphasize the word "free" because I have 0 intentions of paying for more sessions. Dude's name was Driss, pronounced "Dress" - like what women wear. I just wanted to ask him, "Y U NO put 'e' instead of 'i' in your name?", but I didn't want to be offensive. I see him everyday at the gym...not gonna lie, I thought he was Middle Eastern or something. Turns out he's from Morocco and actually speaks French.
He was a cool dude...mid-30's, small physique, but some of that came from the fact that he was in a bad motorcycle accident a year ago and was out of commission for 6-8 months. Apparently he almost died, and ain't nobody got time for death, so I'm glad he didn't. He was also the guy that saw me at the squat rack and asked me if I needed help. My inner ABW wanted to say, "Fool, I'm pretty sure I weigh more than you, so you couldn't help me even if I asked. Now stand down while I squat this here 165 lbs", but the suburban Negro in me kindly said, "no, I'm OK". I'm glad I've had more interactions with him to cancel this out.
I must admit, I went into the session not expecting much because the last free session I had at LifeTime wasn't even good enough to be offered free. She basically wasted my time. This guy did an actual workout session with me, which he watered down a bit because my allergies had me R.I.P. the entire day. I was blown because I wanted the full enchilada, but it was certainly better than what I got at LifeTime. They were too busy trying to sell them ol' hoopty products in their cafe than letting their training skillz do the convincing. That's a major no no when it comes to people of extreme thrift like myself. It was almost too easy to turn her down, but that damn sure didn't stop me from doing so.
So we started off with some intervals on the rowing machine:
We did twice with a 30 sec water break in between each one. Rowing is super good cardio, for those who don't know. Don't sleep on it. Just make sure you get the technique right. My heart rate was up and I was actually sweating and we were only on for like 5 - 10 min.
Next we did some high kicks and side kicks to stretch the hip flexors and hamstrings. I'm old school and poor, so when I do these by myself, I just use my hand for balance. He made me use a bar. 24 hours later I'm still not sure why; it accomplished nothing extra. 2x10 for each leg for both the high and the side kicks.
After that we did a little ditty on this machine (this is not the exercise, just the machine I'm talking about) to do some trunk work. We started from the bottomnow we here and went up, swinging the handle like a golf club, then went from the top and going down, swinging it like a hammer. I like these moves. If I find a video I'll post it.
The final thing was some kinda crawly ab thingy with a balance ball thingy - Lord, I don't even know, and I've had time to process it. It's one of those balance ball thingies that has a flat bottom. I stood on it, dropped down, crawled into a push up position, crawled back, and stood up straight. It was real. That stupid thing is surprisingly hard to balance on, which is why it's good for your abs in both positions.
That pretty much wrapped up my "hour" long session (which was really only 40 min, cheatin' bastard...don't think I didn't look up at the clock). If I had the monies I would keep going with the sessions. He tried to bait me with promises of 5 lbs/mo. weight loss. It was a struggle to keep a straight face. The only way I'm gonna lose 5 lbs in a month is if I cut out pizza night and extend my weekly dietary restrictions into the weekend. Neither of which I'm willing to do, so I'll keep those little 5 lbs tucked safely away on these lovely hips of mine. Good thing I'm brown and people think that's how I'm supposed to look.
I liked it. I thought it was actually helpful. Next time we're planning to go over some nutrition stuff, although I'm not all sure what we're going to be able to cover in 30 min. The guy was really cool though. I must have been giving him suspect eye because he was like, "I feel like you don't believe me when I tell you things", and in my mind I was like "that's because I don't...", but out lout I was like, "oh no no, I'm just thinking." I told him of my dreams of being a personal trainer and he said he'd give me the hookup from one of his other clients that's a professor of nutrition at a school near here. He said she was cool because she was young and black. Yes, that's what he said. That's how I found out he was Moroccan: "I give you the hook up, I'm African, too".
Day Made.
Sometimes it pays to be brown. So nice to see brown people giving the hookup to each other instead of shooting each other.
In all honesty, I really only take gyms up on this offer so I can steal exercise idea from the trainers. I already know they're not gonna give you a true workout since the session is free, so that's basically all you can get out of it. In fact, yesterday was Leg Day, so I had to rush and do some leg exercises before I left. They validate parking, but only 100 min, and a sista was NOT tryna pay for parking in DC, especially not when there's the option for not paying at all. I don't even do math and I was steady counting on my fingers trying to figure out how much time I had left.
But on a for realzies note, personal trainers are totally worth it if you're serious about losing weight. Even if you only have a session once or twice a week. Pick their brains; have questions ready and getcho money's worth. These people didn't spend all that time and money in school to be a trainer for nothing. And if they're like me, they're just itching to talk about fitness to just about anyone who will listen. So listen.
*SN* I love meeting secretly African people.
He was a cool dude...mid-30's, small physique, but some of that came from the fact that he was in a bad motorcycle accident a year ago and was out of commission for 6-8 months. Apparently he almost died, and ain't nobody got time for death, so I'm glad he didn't. He was also the guy that saw me at the squat rack and asked me if I needed help. My inner ABW wanted to say, "Fool, I'm pretty sure I weigh more than you, so you couldn't help me even if I asked. Now stand down while I squat this here 165 lbs", but the suburban Negro in me kindly said, "no, I'm OK". I'm glad I've had more interactions with him to cancel this out.
I must admit, I went into the session not expecting much because the last free session I had at LifeTime wasn't even good enough to be offered free. She basically wasted my time. This guy did an actual workout session with me, which he watered down a bit because my allergies had me R.I.P. the entire day. I was blown because I wanted the full enchilada, but it was certainly better than what I got at LifeTime. They were too busy trying to sell them ol' hoopty products in their cafe than letting their training skillz do the convincing. That's a major no no when it comes to people of extreme thrift like myself. It was almost too easy to turn her down, but that damn sure didn't stop me from doing so.
The Session
So we started off with some intervals on the rowing machine:
- 2 min warm up
- 1 min regular pace
- 30 sec hardcore
We did twice with a 30 sec water break in between each one. Rowing is super good cardio, for those who don't know. Don't sleep on it. Just make sure you get the technique right. My heart rate was up and I was actually sweating and we were only on for like 5 - 10 min.
Next we did some high kicks and side kicks to stretch the hip flexors and hamstrings. I'm old school and poor, so when I do these by myself, I just use my hand for balance. He made me use a bar. 24 hours later I'm still not sure why; it accomplished nothing extra. 2x10 for each leg for both the high and the side kicks.
After that we did a little ditty on this machine (this is not the exercise, just the machine I'm talking about) to do some trunk work. We started from the bottom
The final thing was some kinda crawly ab thingy with a balance ball thingy - Lord, I don't even know, and I've had time to process it. It's one of those balance ball thingies that has a flat bottom. I stood on it, dropped down, crawled into a push up position, crawled back, and stood up straight. It was real. That stupid thing is surprisingly hard to balance on, which is why it's good for your abs in both positions.
That pretty much wrapped up my "hour" long session (which was really only 40 min, cheatin' bastard...don't think I didn't look up at the clock). If I had the monies I would keep going with the sessions. He tried to bait me with promises of 5 lbs/mo. weight loss. It was a struggle to keep a straight face. The only way I'm gonna lose 5 lbs in a month is if I cut out pizza night and extend my weekly dietary restrictions into the weekend. Neither of which I'm willing to do, so I'll keep those little 5 lbs tucked safely away on these lovely hips of mine. Good thing I'm brown and people think that's how I'm supposed to look.
Overall
I liked it. I thought it was actually helpful. Next time we're planning to go over some nutrition stuff, although I'm not all sure what we're going to be able to cover in 30 min. The guy was really cool though. I must have been giving him suspect eye because he was like, "I feel like you don't believe me when I tell you things", and in my mind I was like "that's because I don't...", but out lout I was like, "oh no no, I'm just thinking." I told him of my dreams of being a personal trainer and he said he'd give me the hookup from one of his other clients that's a professor of nutrition at a school near here. He said she was cool because she was young and black. Yes, that's what he said. That's how I found out he was Moroccan: "I give you the hook up, I'm African, too".
Day Made.
Sometimes it pays to be brown. So nice to see brown people giving the hookup to each other instead of shooting each other.
In all honesty, I really only take gyms up on this offer so I can steal exercise idea from the trainers. I already know they're not gonna give you a true workout since the session is free, so that's basically all you can get out of it. In fact, yesterday was Leg Day, so I had to rush and do some leg exercises before I left. They validate parking, but only 100 min, and a sista was NOT tryna pay for parking in DC, especially not when there's the option for not paying at all. I don't even do math and I was steady counting on my fingers trying to figure out how much time I had left.
But on a for realzies note, personal trainers are totally worth it if you're serious about losing weight. Even if you only have a session once or twice a week. Pick their brains; have questions ready and getcho money's worth. These people didn't spend all that time and money in school to be a trainer for nothing. And if they're like me, they're just itching to talk about fitness to just about anyone who will listen. So listen.
